Happy New Years = Cleaning Out My Phone

As I was cleaning out old texts on my phone today (for the new year!), I came across a section of texts that I had locked so I wouldn’t accidently delete them, and I realized something. Many people lock texts with important information, or that are meaningful, etc, etc. However, all of the texts I have saved were because they made me laugh. So I just thought I would share some of my favorites:

“I shafted Mr. Latin, because he almost killed us sailing. Really. And some other latin guy asked me out through a window today. They’re just too much for me to handle.”

        -Natalie Canfield. If you don't know her, you should because she has the best dating stories ever. 

“I’m in Provo. And I peed on their campus. The end.”

“So I sneezed today and my eye exploded again…”

       - Taken from my vast Kallie Johnson/Hillam Collection

 “Uhh did you know unicorns can walk on rainbows? Because according to Dora the Explorer they are the only things that can. I need to get me a unicorn asap.”

       -Allie Vincent. A.K.A. Allie my wife. (She used to be a nanny)

“I am sorry you have been crying…You aren’t pregnant dear.”

      -Ali my husband. He has learned that when my hormonal-birth-control-induce-no-reason-crying happens I always have a fear that I am prego. So sweet...he's always reassuring me. 

Then there are always good ones from the sisters:

“Hello?! Why didn’t you save us a spot at the parade?? We had to stand behind 3 rows of people on the middle of a melted snow cone!”

       -Elly (This was after a Days of ’47 Parade)

“OH MY HECK BIRTH CONTROL HAS GIVEN ME HIDEOUS VEINS IN MY WONDERFUL LEGS!!!”

       -Kassidy

…and last but not least, my favorite one from Kassidy. This was a while a go when she was dating some guy (not her husband) who looked like Shrek when he turns into a human in the movie. I told her to write to Dear Abby for advice on their …problem…so she just wrote me a super long text:

“Dear Abby, I am a semi-attractive female in my early 20’s. I was raised in a shallow family with unrealistically high expectations for boys I date. I am currently seeing ‘Dave’ a tall, witty grad student who resembles a cartoon. But I have a problem with the way he dresses. ‘Dave’ has a terrible pant-shoe connection. It looks like he grew out of his pants 2 years ago. I am sometimes embarrassed to go out in public with him. Abby, how do I tell him he needs new pants without offending him? Sincerely, Shallow in SLC.”

Maybe these are only amusing to me...if that's the case, sorry for wasting your time. Happy New Years!

Hope you had yourself a Merry little Christmas!

It just took all of my self-control not to name this 'Happy Christmas, Harry!' but I didn't want my Harry Potter obsession to get to the point of annoying people.

But this year was a Christmas of firsts, that's for sure. So I thought I would share a few Christmas moments from last week. Promise I will write another witty blog about nothing tomorrow.

I guess we will start with the tree. Al was thinking ahead and brought it home after he found it in some warehouse he randomly happened to be helping clear out last year. Considering we don't really know where it came from, and it was free, I thought it was pretty cute. It has lights too, but I couldn't get a decent picture with them on.

Then, presents! Unfortunately we both sort of knew what we were getting before unwrapping it, but oh well. Al got some gold clubs, and I got a cricut machine! I bet you can guess which one Ali wrapped.

Ever since our hallway has been a putting course.

Also, in relation to Christmas. I decided to get crafty and we spent the whole months of November and December eating canned soup so I could make these:

I got the idea off of Pinterest. It's my new favorite website. I made these pretzel chocolate things (that I also found on Pinterest) to put inside of them. So, I guess that is my craft for the year.

We spent Christmas day with my fam, and then the next day was Christmas with Al's. Overall it was a great couple days, I would say....oh I can't resist. Happy Christmas, Harry!

People Watching

Cool story, Hansel:

 At work I sit next to this giant window that gives me a great view of a spray-paint mural picturing the end of the world when the mayan calander ends, and it also allows me to experience humanity at its finest, every single day.

(Unfortunately this was the best picture I could find of the mural thing, don't worry, those fire-fighters are just puting out the fire some crazy guys set to it a couple weeks ago.)

This includes everyone from happy couples taking engagements or bridals, crazy drunks wandering the streets, to the lovely patrons of the Heavy Metal Shop across the ally.

So I thought I would pay tribute to my favorite people I have experienced during my time here.

First, there is pit bull guy. I have a very special relationship with him. He walks by my window almost every day, accompanied by two very frightening looking dogs. The first few months I noticed him, he didn’t even have these dogs on a leash. He would just walk down the street with his dread-locks ponytail bouncing with his step calling to his dogs: “girls! Stay close!” “C’mon girls!” “Ruby, I’m talking to you!” Then he disappeared for a couple weeks, and I always wonder if “Ruby” attacked someone, because ever since then, he has had them on a leash. But I have good news about pit bull guy: he has found love! The last few weeks he has been walking his “girls” with another girl: a purplish-red haired lady with a cute pixy cut, and some lovely fish nets. I love seeing a good romance blooming.

I call the next one "the Hot Meter Maid Chick." This is because she is a meter maid. And she is hot. It's weird because usually meter maids are frumpy, unhappy, middle-aged people, often with some sort of awkwardly placed mole. This hot one, however, is a sass. I've seen her yell at people who argue about this ticket she gave them. I also saw her at the U once giving people tickets. I guess she just enjoys spreading unhappiness.

Next is security guard guy. I don’t know what he is guarding exactly though. Sometimes I wonder if he is even legit, because he just kinda stands in front of this alley with nothing in it, with an official-looking blue coat and hat that says “security” on it.  Also, the fact that he looks like a shifty, up-to-something, 23- year-old guy, makes me even more suspicious. Sometimes I see him chatting it up with the homeless guys like they are old friends. I guess I like having him there because it gets a little creepy around these parts when it gets dark…although due to my constant viewing of Criminal Minds, I am slightly afraid that he is REALLY the one I should be afraid will kidnap me and then steal my eyeballs.  

Then, there are some memorable one-timers, including:

Asian man walking down the street with an umbrella open, even though it is not raining, snowing, or even sunny.

The family who came to take pictures, but really just keep yelling at each other.

Drunk guy stumbling around in 30 degree weather with no shoes, and no shirt, except for a zip-up jacket that he kept unzipping and flinging open, to show people his chest. I think he was going for flashing, without the risk of a citation.  

Crazy guy who started yelling violently at a pole just outside my door, I really thought he was gonna come in with a violent rage, and kill me.

The extremely confused, slightly insane people who came into the office and asked me if this was the Himalayan Kitchen. ( No dude, it’s the next door over, you know, the one with the great big sign that says ‘Himalayan Kitchen’).  

And, we can never forget the guy in a fancy suit rollerblading down the street.

I bet you are jealous for the people watching that I get to do. It does make for a great game of ‘your team.’

In other news, we found this sweet boil thing on Al’s leg, and it made the coolest sound, and shot sooo far when he popped it.

If you were wondering why I often have a zoned out look on my face...

It's cause I think about random things, for example:

1. I get annoyed when I'm wearing boots and my ankles itch.

2. I hate my nazi comm 1500 teacher with her awful, awful bangs*. (She is the main reason it's been so long since I've blogged)

3. My house looks like 300 five-year-olds were unleashed in it along with 200 tigers.

4. That Hunger Games trailer looks awesome.

5. Birth control sucks. Seriously. I cried maybe once every 5 years before I started taking it. Now, I watch Harry Potter, and I tear up. Or I see that Sarah Mclachlan commercial with all the sad animals, and I tear up. Or I lose my favorite chapstick...you know the drill. No wonder this country has gone crazy, we've got all theses hormonal women hyped up on BC walking around.

6. Now that finals are almost over, the crafting possibilities are endless...

7. CHRISTMAS!!!

8. I watch too much Criminal Minds. I had a dream I got kidnapped last night.

9. Happy Christmas Harry.

Yeah, stuff like that. Now that the world knows I'm crazy, LOOK! SANTA, I KNOW HIM!!!

Al, me, Santa, Abraham (Abe)**, and Debs (I think she was moving)
We are so cool.

*Her bangs are the super thick kind that start in the middle of the top of her head and are combed downwards. If you know what I mean.

**We learned the other day that Al's dad, Sam, was upset people were calling Abraham Abe, cause apparently Abe means 'problem' in Farsi (his native language). Although, Ali always assumed Abe was a swear word, so I guess 'problem' is a step up from that.

Al at home.

Basically my husband, Ali, is the best. He made me breakfast this morning, vacuumed yesterday, took me shopping at Macys at midnight for black friday, but most of all he just makes me laugh.

This is Al and his favorite blanket: a big pink fluffy one:

This is Al the other day when he went to take out the garbage, he looked so cuddly in his gray sweats, I decided to call him Cloudy, the gray care bear.

Anyway, I just thought I would share that, hopefully Al won't be too upset I put him on here.

In other news, I made a pie for the first time ever this Thanksgiving, from scratch, crust and all!
And it turned out edible, so that's always a plus.

Lately...

Well, since we are crazy busy and don't really see anyone much, I though I would post an update on the last couple months.

In August we went fishing with good old uncle Karim. We didn't catch anything, but the people right next to us caught about 8 fish in a row. They felt bad for us and came over to help, but it didn't work.

Later that week, Al wanted to go fishing again. We happened to be watching my nephews Luke and Jake, so Al and his bro Abraham took them up to Silver Lake while I went to a bridal shower.

They still didn't catch anything. But as I was leaving my bridal shower Al called me to tell me that this little stink locked him and Abraham in his bedroom while they were trying to put him to bed. I came over to find them playing darts in 5-year-old Luke's room while he sat in his bed and laughed at them. (I don't know why he is making such a weird face in this picture.)

We've gone to a few U games (Go Utes!)

Al got himself a new sleeping bag. He was so excited about it I would come home from work everyday to find him lying in it while watching TV.

We hiked the pipeline. A couple times.

We carved pumpkins with Ali's mom Debra. They both carved cool designs. I just carved the same pumpkin face I carve every year. Then we took them to a neighborhood party, and mine won the carving contest, they gave me a sweet trophy! It even had a weird eye cause I messed up on it.

For the huntin season, we went up to some property Al's family owns on the mountain behind Grantsville. It was  an adventure, we went 4-wheeling (but nobody was around to take picture of both of us on it.)

We went on a walk with Al's dad and found a sweet tractor thing. (Gotta love the hunting-season orange)

There is a perfect gully on the mountain for paintball wars, and everyone can watch from above. I got to paintball for the first time, it was so fun! I got hit on my left ring-finger knuckle, and it was so swollen I couldn't get my ring off for a week, but it was worth it! Plus it turned a cool color of blue.

And of course, no camping trip would be complete without a big fire, so we burned an entire trailer that got vandalized. Bet you're jealous!

Then Halloween happened. We didn't really do anything, but we did get to dress up to go to a dance for the youth in our stake, cause Al is in the scouts. We are so cool.

We've done more stuff too, but we failed at taking pictures and I'm too lazy to remember what they were. 

How cool people spend their weekend:

To sum up our weekend:

Al has been sick all week so:
We spent Thursday night watching a marathon of criminal minds that was on because we didn't feel like doing anything. Seriously, 4 hours straight. It was great.

Friday we were still feeling lazy. Al's bro who works up on a mountain with troubled youth was home for his week off, so we decided we would go mooch food from his parents, and call it a visit. Al was feeling much better that night, so like the party animals we are we went and saw puss and boots with his parents and my mom. It was pretty good, if you like cats.

Saturday happened to be 1 year since we got engaged! Crazy! We had a little bit of energy so we went crazy and spent the morning shopping. Can I just say I am pretty excited for Christmas already? I happened to find a drawer full of Target gift cards we forgot about from our wedding, score! So we headed to Target and got Christmas tree ornaments and new workout clothes hoping they would motivate us to exercise more.

Happy Engagement!

Basically we spent the rest of the day wearing our new workout clothes, because they were comfy, and watching football. After the U game (go Utes!) we figured we should do something to celebrate getting engaged so we went to barbacoa in our new work out clothes, so we would look like one of those cool, athletic couples.

I would like to note that Ali was still sick at the point, and I felt like I was getting it. So, to prevent this from happening, I spend the entire day drinking OJ and airborne, while eating those vitamin C cough drops.

Fun Fact, too much vitamin C = laxitive.

Too much vitamin C + Barbacoa = not pretty. In case you wanted to know.

Sunday I officially got the disease, and we sat around. All day. That was it.

And you know what? It was such a great weekend! (besides the whole sickness thing). I bet you are jealous.