Cool story, Hansel:
At work I sit next to this giant window that gives me a great view of a spray-paint mural picturing the end of the world when the mayan calander ends, and it also allows me to experience humanity at its finest, every single day.
(Unfortunately this was the best picture I could find of the mural thing, don't worry, those fire-fighters are just puting out the fire some crazy guys set to it a couple weeks ago.)
This includes everyone from happy couples taking engagements or bridals, crazy drunks wandering the streets, to the lovely patrons of the Heavy Metal Shop across the ally.
So I thought I would pay tribute to my favorite people I have experienced during my time here.
First, there is pit bull guy. I have a very special relationship with him. He walks by my window almost every day, accompanied by two very frightening looking dogs. The first few months I noticed him, he didn’t even have these dogs on a leash. He would just walk down the street with his dread-locks ponytail bouncing with his step calling to his dogs: “girls! Stay close!” “C’mon girls!” “Ruby, I’m talking to you!” Then he disappeared for a couple weeks, and I always wonder if “Ruby” attacked someone, because ever since then, he has had them on a leash. But I have good news about pit bull guy: he has found love! The last few weeks he has been walking his “girls” with another girl: a purplish-red haired lady with a cute pixy cut, and some lovely fish nets. I love seeing a good romance blooming.
I call the next one "the Hot Meter Maid Chick." This is because she is a meter maid. And she is hot. It's weird because usually meter maids are frumpy, unhappy, middle-aged people, often with some sort of awkwardly placed mole. This hot one, however, is a sass. I've seen her yell at people who argue about this ticket she gave them. I also saw her at the U once giving people tickets. I guess she just enjoys spreading unhappiness.
Next is security guard guy. I don’t know what he is guarding exactly though. Sometimes I wonder if he is even legit, because he just kinda stands in front of this alley with nothing in it, with an official-looking blue coat and hat that says “security” on it. Also, the fact that he looks like a shifty, up-to-something, 23- year-old guy, makes me even more suspicious. Sometimes I see him chatting it up with the homeless guys like they are old friends. I guess I like having him there because it gets a little creepy around these parts when it gets dark…although due to my constant viewing of Criminal Minds, I am slightly afraid that he is REALLY the one I should be afraid will kidnap me and then steal my eyeballs.
Then, there are some memorable one-timers, including:
Asian man walking down the street with an umbrella open, even though it is not raining, snowing, or even sunny.
The family who came to take pictures, but really just keep yelling at each other.
Drunk guy stumbling around in 30 degree weather with no shoes, and no shirt, except for a zip-up jacket that he kept unzipping and flinging open, to show people his chest. I think he was going for flashing, without the risk of a citation.
Crazy guy who started yelling violently at a pole just outside my door, I really thought he was gonna come in with a violent rage, and kill me.
The extremely confused, slightly insane people who came into the office and asked me if this was the Himalayan Kitchen. ( No dude, it’s the next door over, you know, the one with the great big sign that says ‘Himalayan Kitchen’).
And, we can never forget the guy in a fancy suit rollerblading down the street.
I bet you are jealous for the people watching that I get to do. It does make for a great game of ‘your team.’
In other news, we found this sweet boil thing on Al’s leg, and it made the coolest sound, and shot sooo far when he popped it.
