Tuesday, December 20, 2011

People Watching

Cool story, Hansel:
 At work I sit next to this giant window that gives me a great view of a spray-paint mural picturing the end of the world when the mayan calander ends, and it also allows me to experience humanity at its finest, every single day.

(Unfortunately this was the best picture I could find of the mural thing, don't worry, those fire-fighters are just puting out the fire some crazy guys set to it a couple weeks ago.)

This includes everyone from happy couples taking engagements or bridals, crazy drunks wandering the streets, to the lovely patrons of the Heavy Metal Shop across the ally.
So I thought I would pay tribute to my favorite people I have experienced during my time here.

First, there is pit bull guy. I have a very special relationship with him. He walks by my window almost every day, accompanied by two very frightening looking dogs. The first few months I noticed him, he didn’t even have these dogs on a leash. He would just walk down the street with his dread-locks ponytail bouncing with his step calling to his dogs: “girls! Stay close!” “C’mon girls!” “Ruby, I’m talking to you!” Then he disappeared for a couple weeks, and I always wonder if “Ruby” attacked someone, because ever since then, he has had them on a leash. But I have good news about pit bull guy: he has found love! The last few weeks he has been walking his “girls” with another girl: a purplish-red haired lady with a cute pixy cut, and some lovely fish nets. I love seeing a good romance blooming.

I call the next one "the Hot Meter Maid Chick." This is because she is a meter maid. And she is hot. It's weird because usually meter maids are frumpy, unhappy, middle-aged people, often with some sort of awkwardly placed mole. This hot one, however, is a sass. I've seen her yell at people who argue about this ticket she gave them. I also saw her at the U once giving people tickets. I guess she just enjoys spreading unhappiness.

Next is security guard guy. I don’t know what he is guarding exactly though. Sometimes I wonder if he is even legit, because he just kinda stands in front of this alley with nothing in it, with an official-looking blue coat and hat that says “security” on it.  Also, the fact that he looks like a shifty, up-to-something, 23- year-old guy, makes me even more suspicious. Sometimes I see him chatting it up with the homeless guys like they are old friends. I guess I like having him there because it gets a little creepy around these parts when it gets dark…although due to my constant viewing of Criminal Minds, I am slightly afraid that he is REALLY the one I should be afraid will kidnap me and then steal my eyeballs.  

Then, there are some memorable one-timers, including:

Asian man walking down the street with an umbrella open, even though it is not raining, snowing, or even sunny.

The family who came to take pictures, but really just keep yelling at each other.

Drunk guy stumbling around in 30 degree weather with no shoes, and no shirt, except for a zip-up jacket that he kept unzipping and flinging open, to show people his chest. I think he was going for flashing, without the risk of a citation.  

Crazy guy who started yelling violently at a pole just outside my door, I really thought he was gonna come in with a violent rage, and kill me.

The extremely confused, slightly insane people who came into the office and asked me if this was the Himalayan Kitchen. ( No dude, it’s the next door over, you know, the one with the great big sign that says ‘Himalayan Kitchen’).  

And, we can never forget the guy in a fancy suit rollerblading down the street.

I bet you are jealous for the people watching that I get to do. It does make for a great game of ‘your team.’

In other news, we found this sweet boil thing on Al’s leg, and it made the coolest sound, and shot sooo far when he popped it.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

If you were wondering why I often have a zoned out look on my face...

It's cause I think about random things, for example:

1. I get annoyed when I'm wearing boots and my ankles itch.

2. I hate my nazi comm 1500 teacher with her awful, awful bangs*. (She is the main reason it's been so long since I've blogged)

3. My house looks like 300 five-year-olds were unleashed in it along with 200 tigers.

4. That Hunger Games trailer looks awesome.

5. Birth control sucks. Seriously. I cried maybe once every 5 years before I started taking it. Now, I watch Harry Potter, and I tear up. Or I see that Sarah Mclachlan commercial with all the sad animals, and I tear up. Or I lose my favorite chapstick...you know the drill. No wonder this country has gone crazy, we've got all theses hormonal women hyped up on BC walking around.

6. Now that finals are almost over, the crafting possibilities are endless...


8. I watch too much Criminal Minds. I had a dream I got kidnapped last night.

9. Happy Christmas Harry.

Yeah, stuff like that. Now that the world knows I'm crazy, LOOK! SANTA, I KNOW HIM!!!

Al, me, Santa, Abraham (Abe)**, and Debs (I think she was moving)
We are so cool.

*Her bangs are the super thick kind that start in the middle of the top of her head and are combed downwards. If you know what I mean.

**We learned the other day that Al's dad, Sam, was upset people were calling Abraham Abe, cause apparently Abe means 'problem' in Farsi (his native language). Although, Ali always assumed Abe was a swear word, so I guess 'problem' is a step up from that.