Tuesday, December 20, 2011

People Watching

Cool story, Hansel:
 At work I sit next to this giant window that gives me a great view of a spray-paint mural picturing the end of the world when the mayan calander ends, and it also allows me to experience humanity at its finest, every single day.

(Unfortunately this was the best picture I could find of the mural thing, don't worry, those fire-fighters are just puting out the fire some crazy guys set to it a couple weeks ago.)

This includes everyone from happy couples taking engagements or bridals, crazy drunks wandering the streets, to the lovely patrons of the Heavy Metal Shop across the ally.
So I thought I would pay tribute to my favorite people I have experienced during my time here.

First, there is pit bull guy. I have a very special relationship with him. He walks by my window almost every day, accompanied by two very frightening looking dogs. The first few months I noticed him, he didn’t even have these dogs on a leash. He would just walk down the street with his dread-locks ponytail bouncing with his step calling to his dogs: “girls! Stay close!” “C’mon girls!” “Ruby, I’m talking to you!” Then he disappeared for a couple weeks, and I always wonder if “Ruby” attacked someone, because ever since then, he has had them on a leash. But I have good news about pit bull guy: he has found love! The last few weeks he has been walking his “girls” with another girl: a purplish-red haired lady with a cute pixy cut, and some lovely fish nets. I love seeing a good romance blooming.

I call the next one "the Hot Meter Maid Chick." This is because she is a meter maid. And she is hot. It's weird because usually meter maids are frumpy, unhappy, middle-aged people, often with some sort of awkwardly placed mole. This hot one, however, is a sass. I've seen her yell at people who argue about this ticket she gave them. I also saw her at the U once giving people tickets. I guess she just enjoys spreading unhappiness.

Next is security guard guy. I don’t know what he is guarding exactly though. Sometimes I wonder if he is even legit, because he just kinda stands in front of this alley with nothing in it, with an official-looking blue coat and hat that says “security” on it.  Also, the fact that he looks like a shifty, up-to-something, 23- year-old guy, makes me even more suspicious. Sometimes I see him chatting it up with the homeless guys like they are old friends. I guess I like having him there because it gets a little creepy around these parts when it gets dark…although due to my constant viewing of Criminal Minds, I am slightly afraid that he is REALLY the one I should be afraid will kidnap me and then steal my eyeballs.  

Then, there are some memorable one-timers, including:

Asian man walking down the street with an umbrella open, even though it is not raining, snowing, or even sunny.

The family who came to take pictures, but really just keep yelling at each other.

Drunk guy stumbling around in 30 degree weather with no shoes, and no shirt, except for a zip-up jacket that he kept unzipping and flinging open, to show people his chest. I think he was going for flashing, without the risk of a citation.  

Crazy guy who started yelling violently at a pole just outside my door, I really thought he was gonna come in with a violent rage, and kill me.

The extremely confused, slightly insane people who came into the office and asked me if this was the Himalayan Kitchen. ( No dude, it’s the next door over, you know, the one with the great big sign that says ‘Himalayan Kitchen’).  

And, we can never forget the guy in a fancy suit rollerblading down the street.

I bet you are jealous for the people watching that I get to do. It does make for a great game of ‘your team.’

In other news, we found this sweet boil thing on Al’s leg, and it made the coolest sound, and shot sooo far when he popped it.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

If you were wondering why I often have a zoned out look on my face...

It's cause I think about random things, for example:

1. I get annoyed when I'm wearing boots and my ankles itch.

2. I hate my nazi comm 1500 teacher with her awful, awful bangs*. (She is the main reason it's been so long since I've blogged)

3. My house looks like 300 five-year-olds were unleashed in it along with 200 tigers.

4. That Hunger Games trailer looks awesome.

5. Birth control sucks. Seriously. I cried maybe once every 5 years before I started taking it. Now, I watch Harry Potter, and I tear up. Or I see that Sarah Mclachlan commercial with all the sad animals, and I tear up. Or I lose my favorite chapstick...you know the drill. No wonder this country has gone crazy, we've got all theses hormonal women hyped up on BC walking around.

6. Now that finals are almost over, the crafting possibilities are endless...


8. I watch too much Criminal Minds. I had a dream I got kidnapped last night.

9. Happy Christmas Harry.

Yeah, stuff like that. Now that the world knows I'm crazy, LOOK! SANTA, I KNOW HIM!!!

Al, me, Santa, Abraham (Abe)**, and Debs (I think she was moving)
We are so cool.

*Her bangs are the super thick kind that start in the middle of the top of her head and are combed downwards. If you know what I mean.

**We learned the other day that Al's dad, Sam, was upset people were calling Abraham Abe, cause apparently Abe means 'problem' in Farsi (his native language). Although, Ali always assumed Abe was a swear word, so I guess 'problem' is a step up from that.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Al at home.

Basically my husband, Ali, is the best. He made me breakfast this morning, vacuumed yesterday, took me shopping at Macys at midnight for black friday, but most of all he just makes me laugh.

This is Al and his favorite blanket: a big pink fluffy one:

This is Al the other day when he went to take out the garbage, he looked so cuddly in his gray sweats, I decided to call him Cloudy, the gray care bear.

Anyway, I just thought I would share that, hopefully Al won't be too upset I put him on here.

In other news, I made a pie for the first time ever this Thanksgiving, from scratch, crust and all!
And it turned out edible, so that's always a plus.

Thursday, November 17, 2011


Well, since we are crazy busy and don't really see anyone much, I though I would post an update on the last couple months.

In August we went fishing with good old uncle Karim. We didn't catch anything, but the people right next to us caught about 8 fish in a row. They felt bad for us and came over to help, but it didn't work.

Later that week, Al wanted to go fishing again. We happened to be watching my nephews Luke and Jake, so Al and his bro Abraham took them up to Silver Lake while I went to a bridal shower.
They still didn't catch anything. But as I was leaving my bridal shower Al called me to tell me that this little stink locked him and Abraham in his bedroom while they were trying to put him to bed. I came over to find them playing darts in 5-year-old Luke's room while he sat in his bed and laughed at them. (I don't know why he is making such a weird face in this picture.)

We've gone to a few U games (Go Utes!)

Al got himself a new sleeping bag. He was so excited about it I would come home from work everyday to find him lying in it while watching TV.

We hiked the pipeline. A couple times.

We carved pumpkins with Ali's mom Debra. They both carved cool designs. I just carved the same pumpkin face I carve every year. Then we took them to a neighborhood party, and mine won the carving contest, they gave me a sweet trophy! It even had a weird eye cause I messed up on it.

For the huntin season, we went up to some property Al's family owns on the mountain behind Grantsville. It was  an adventure, we went 4-wheeling (but nobody was around to take picture of both of us on it.)

We went on a walk with Al's dad and found a sweet tractor thing. (Gotta love the hunting-season orange)

There is a perfect gully on the mountain for paintball wars, and everyone can watch from above. I got to paintball for the first time, it was so fun! I got hit on my left ring-finger knuckle, and it was so swollen I couldn't get my ring off for a week, but it was worth it! Plus it turned a cool color of blue.

And of course, no camping trip would be complete without a big fire, so we burned an entire trailer that got vandalized. Bet you're jealous!

Then Halloween happened. We didn't really do anything, but we did get to dress up to go to a dance for the youth in our stake, cause Al is in the scouts. We are so cool.

We've done more stuff too, but we failed at taking pictures and I'm too lazy to remember what they were. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

How cool people spend their weekend:

To sum up our weekend:

Al has been sick all week so:
We spent Thursday night watching a marathon of criminal minds that was on because we didn't feel like doing anything. Seriously, 4 hours straight. It was great.

Friday we were still feeling lazy. Al's bro who works up on a mountain with troubled youth was home for his week off, so we decided we would go mooch food from his parents, and call it a visit. Al was feeling much better that night, so like the party animals we are we went and saw puss and boots with his parents and my mom. It was pretty good, if you like cats.

Saturday happened to be 1 year since we got engaged! Crazy! We had a little bit of energy so we went crazy and spent the morning shopping. Can I just say I am pretty excited for Christmas already? I happened to find a drawer full of Target gift cards we forgot about from our wedding, score! So we headed to Target and got Christmas tree ornaments and new workout clothes hoping they would motivate us to exercise more.

Happy Engagement!

Basically we spent the rest of the day wearing our new workout clothes, because they were comfy, and watching football. After the U game (go Utes!) we figured we should do something to celebrate getting engaged so we went to barbacoa in our new work out clothes, so we would look like one of those cool, athletic couples.

I would like to note that Ali was still sick at the point, and I felt like I was getting it. So, to prevent this from happening, I spend the entire day drinking OJ and airborne, while eating those vitamin C cough drops.

Fun Fact, too much vitamin C = laxitive.

Too much vitamin C + Barbacoa = not pretty. In case you wanted to know.

Sunday I officially got the disease, and we sat around. All day. That was it.

And you know what? It was such a great weekend! (besides the whole sickness thing). I bet you are jealous.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

They're Everywhere...Except When You Need One

You all know what I’m talking about. They are in the same category as pens, paperclips, and rubber bands.

I feel bad for Al, he grew up in an all-boy family, so he doesn’t even know what they are, let alone why he keeps finding them all over the house.

It doesn’t help that I am trying to grow out my bangs, so they are constantly in and out of my hair.

But then, when I find myself in need of one, suddenly they are nowhere to be found. Sometimes I can search forever trying to find one, and do you think I ever find one? Nope.

At least, not until I finally borrow one from somebody, then I look in my desk drawer at work, and there it is!

Sometimes I think whatever is stealing my socks out of the dryer likes to hide bobby pins when I need them too.

Monday, November 7, 2011

An Ode to the Bathroom Dweller

I have always had issues with public toilets.

And by issues I mean, I think they are gross, and I don't like the smell of the soap they usually have: once I use it I feel like I'm smelling it all day.

Unfortunately when I am away from my home for over twelve hours a day I am forced to use the school bathrooms sometimes.

There are a few bathrooms on campus I am okay with using. These usually are single-room handicapped ones (I get stage fright). But every once in a while my handicapped bathrooms are occupied and I am forced to face the public stalls. Ugh.

I encountered that very situation today: I had to go, so I headed up to one of my more preferred bathrooms in LNCO (the language and communications building at the U). This one has good smelling soap, so I don't mind it so much.

As I'm sitting there in my own little stall I hear it: a faint rustling a couple stalls over, even though I was sure the bathroom was empty when I came in. I immediately knew what it was: a creature I like to call the 'bathroom dweller.'

Whenever I use a public bathroom I notice this: there is always at least one stall occupied by some mouth-breathing someone (or something). You know who they are; these people (or things) never seems to leave no matter how long you stay, even though they were probably there waaaay before you got there.

Am I the only one who notices this?

I never hear any tinkling, or toilet-paper-rustling come from these stalls, just the occasional shuffling and some form of mouth breathing.

Therefore, I have decided to call this person/thing the "bathroom dweller."

Sometimes I wonder if it is just some poor person, and whether I should ask them if they are okay, but my fear/disgust wont let me.

This is the amount of grime I tend to picture in my mind when I enter a public toilet.
I know, I know, I'm a terrible person.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Nobody Warned Me About This...

So here’s the deal.
When you get married, all of the sudden this hideous desire to have a baby starts growing inside of you.

Note: This is not an announcement, we are not prego, nor do we plan to be for the next couple years.

It starts out small; you start noticing how cute other people’s kids are, all of the sudden you want to start buying baby clothes because they are just so dang adorable…it’s awful.

The weird thing is I don’t actually like kids that much. They are always sticky, and loud, and running around... not to mention the slime leaking out of their noses and mouths.

But wouldn’t it just be so so cute to have a little Al running around?

I know, right? It’s like I’m a whole new person now.

On the other hand, I really like the idea of being able to do whatever we want whenever we want without having to figure out where to put a baby.

So for now I s'pose we will just concentrate our efforts on finishing school and such. Maybe someday when we have two new cars and some jet skis there will be an actual announcement.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Socks, Donuts, Typical.

So let me describe my day.

So far I have:

Walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to my husband as he’s leaving for work, and watched him sit down to put on his socks, before realizing that he was already wearing socks. (He then said to me, don’t put this on your blog! Sorry honey)

Scraped hardened grease off soup I made last night and then put in the fridge. Woops, guess I should have strained the meat a little bit more.

Learned from Dr. Oz what to do if you fall asleep and wake up in a different state.
(Stop taking so many sleeping pills.)

Left the house in just a sweatshirt because it ‘looks’ warm outside. Turns out I needed a full on winter coat.

Watched my boss walk in with a box of donuts and yelled “OOO LOOK AT THAT!” She sort of just looked at me like I was crazy.

Annnnd it’s only 2:00.  OH, and I added two rubber bands to my rubber band ball. I know, right? Happy Wednesday!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

1 Skinny Orange Cone = $121

Story time:

Al loves camping. Sometimes I think he may love camping more than he loves me. But of course, he's very sweet and would never admit that.

But you should see our garage; he's got a whole entire wall lovingly devoted to his camping/backpacking equipment.

Since we've been married our purchases have included: camp chairs, a camp stove, Keens for both of us, a camel back, a very lightweight sleepingbag and pad, and a nice backpacking backpack for me. Not that I've really been backpacking before.

Basically we've already accepted we are slowly turning into earth people. Heaven forbid though, if he tries to get me to drive a Subaru, I draw the line there. Seriously. No offense to all you Subaru drivers out there. I'm sure you are great people.

Now I'm getting sidetracked. Onto the Story.

So, due to Ali's love of camping and the fact that it was fall break a couple weeks ago, we decided to go camping. Now, I would advise all you campers out there to actually figure out where you plan to camp before going there. We weren't that smart. We threw our new U of U camping chairs in the car, got in and drove to an unknown camping destination.

Note: Did you know a lot of campsites close in October?

Long story short we ended up at Jordanelle.

Now, for those of you who haven't been to this site, there are several campgrounds there. Also, there is a great big HUGE sign that says basically If-You-Have-An-RV-Or-Are-Camping-In-a-Tent-Go-This-Way with a great big arrow. After we drove past about four camp site signs that said "RV Camping," we finally came to a big sign that said "Car Camping." Unfortunately the road at this point had four skinny orange cones blocking off the path.

After double checking this was the only place we could put a tent, we shrugged our shoulders, moved over that skinny orange cone that was directly in our path, and drove on through.
*At this point I would like to point out that we were actually being considerate here in not camping out on the brush. Because we all know how much the park rangers hate THAT.

Anyway, we found outselves a nice little campspot, and figured we would be fine to camp there because of the dude in an RV chillin about 50 yards away from us. We were also comforted due to the cars that followed us in and put up their own tent. We knew we'd be fine camping there, right?


We woke up in the morning to a lovely BYEEEWWW sound.

Oh, hello po po.

Al went out there and argued with those "rent-a-cops" as he called them (apparently one of them didn't even have a gun.)

Turns out RV guy was the "camp post" thanks for doing your job and telling us we'd get in trouble for camping there, dude. We know you were there, we saw you creep into the bathrooms late at night.

Apparently there were tent spots mixed in with the spots labeled under the "RV Camping" sign. I'm still not quite sure how we were supposed to figure that out. And the other cars followed us in cause we didn't put the cone we moved back. Whoops.

Long story short, we are now down 121 bucks for our "minor infraction."

OH, and those kind little po pos even put up a sign for our leaving...

But you know what? Even though we had to pay a bunch of money, it was a great adventure! The moon that night could not have been prettier, and Ali even made me some dutch oven peach cobbler. SCORE!

Who wears the pants in this relationship?

To introduce us, I guess it's always important to start with our names.

Basically we have the most confusing names ever. Ali and Kourtney Mardanlou.

So I figure we'd address the problems most people seem to have with our names:

People aways wonder which of us is the boy, and which is the girl. Yes, Ali tends to be a girl name. But in our situation, Ali wears the pants.

Once people figure out that Ali is the man, pronunciation suddenly becomes a problem:
People like to say it like Ollie. You know,like Mohammed Ali. False. It is Ali, as in Alley, or Allie.

Generally Kourtney doesn't get butchered too much in the pronunciation, spelling is where it gets you. I was always so sad when I was younger because I could never find one of those name keychains that has my name spelled correctly.

Then there is our last name Mardanlou. Mardanlou. It's a mouthful. We hear Mardenlouw, Mardnlooo, Mardaanlouw...basically anything. A lot of times people just don't even try.

As I'm sure you are wondering, because the subject of how to say our last name is so interesting, It is pronounced Mar Dan Lou. Like, 3 first names put altogether. (And yes there is a superrrrr old lady in our ward name Mar, so it is a name.) Oh and Lou is like 'skip to my lou,' none of this louw stuff.

So for purposes of this blog, we will keep our names simple: Al and Kourt. Though I'm sure I will throw some Alis and Kourtneys in there, just to shake things up.